he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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