I'm going to jail i love you
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
