The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
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