No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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