I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Randomize
