My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Found your dick twin last night
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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