U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
