STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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