Do you still have your period?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
