for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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