Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
