It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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