All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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