Already got asked if we're dating
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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