Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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