we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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