I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
