it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
