Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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