I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
