And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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