onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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