i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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