i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
