I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
