Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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