I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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