Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
