The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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