i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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