Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.