***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.