I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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