When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
