At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
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