Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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