Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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