you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
