what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
