the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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