I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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