What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
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