Where did you get a picture of my penis
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
