I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Randomize
