Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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