ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
