can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
