I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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