she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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