That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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