I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I don't think brook has ever known best
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
