Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
