So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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