I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
My life is pants optional.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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