At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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