I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
