Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
