So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
